tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79505005655541724792024-02-07T07:42:48.935-05:00 jaygerardtodayBlogcasting from beautiful downtown Pennsyltucky, PennsylvaniaUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger77125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-25627522044870607782023-02-07T14:40:00.000-05:002023-02-07T14:40:52.219-05:00I love the Flower Girl, today only please.<p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">I always loved music and it flowed freely in my childhood home.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">My parents were music lovers, Dad with his extensive 78 collection of the jitterbug and big band era, Mom always had music playing on the radio and heard throughout our home.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">Not a TV blaring or channel after channel of talk.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">My sisters and brothers and I had our 45 and 33 1/3 record collections (vinyl to you), 8 track and cassette tapes and CD's</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">Now I have Pandora where I can choose from 1000's of channels with an endless variety of music, in all genres, from decades in time even though my preferred choice is from a narrow window.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">My mom would always remind us that every generation had its music, dress and dance and she was absolutely correct.What was strange was that my parents could crossover into 50-60s rock classics easier than I can relax with the sounds of rap.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">Some folks are hard of hearing, others have ringing in the ears and some have selective hearing, some even have hearing like a bat.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">Me I have ear-worms, ear-worms that will never go away.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">I have a constant top 40 radio station playing from the time I awaken until I sleep.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">I try to explain to others my ear worm dilemma, and all they do is back away from me slowly like when I tell them all about my doctors visits, my exercise routine, or how to properly prepare and consume sardines.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">I wouldn't mind it if it were not for the fact that only 1 song from the top 40 plays all day long, an ear-worm that can drive me crazy.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">Its like I have a mini DJ embedded in my skull who took over the station as in days of old, and decided to hijack the control board and play Mac Arthur's Park 24 hrs a day until the police busted in and carted him off to the loony bin (oh sorry not woke enough, rather transported the gentle-person to a friendly facility where professional people may be able to assist and treat or cure compassionately allowing great reverence and respect for the individuals unusual and erratic behavior.)</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">In other words, medicate the fruit loop at the nut house.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">What really puzzles me is the variety of songs my ear-worms select, I know them all but would not call many of them my favorites and would probably have pushed another button on the car radio if the song was being played. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">But my ear-worm won't allow channel selection. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">I am destined to live with the song chosen for an entire day and hopefully when I awaken the next sunrise it wont play again, like in Groundhog Day when Sonny and Cher's "I've Got You Babe" played every morning when the alarm went off at 6 am.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">They say that music soothes the savage beast, but who is "They"?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">"They" was an obscure English poet and playwright, from 1697 and I will go no further as I am as bored of old English poets and playwrights as I am of William Shakespeare. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">Yes I've said it so there! </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">I like most students in my day had to read Shakespeare in high school and I would generally fall asleep in English class during those days..</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">I knew I would be tested on the lessons, also that I'd just go buy the Cliff Notes even though the priest insisted it would do no good, that he was onto the great Cliff Note scam and assured all of us that the test would not include anything found in those yellow and black demons.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">I purchased it anyway and landed a B+ and would still be able to sleep in class.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The only problem was upon awakening an ear worm would kick in and I was forced</span><span style="font-family: arial;"> to listen to "I Love the Flower Girl" for the remainder of the day.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">Well at least it wasn't "I've Got You Babe".</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;">That will probably be my song for tomorrow.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-8262231657495880792021-02-20T09:35:00.001-05:002021-02-20T09:36:01.922-05:00<p> </p><p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span face=""Arial Narrow","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 20pt; line-height: 115%;">Hindsight
is 2020…I hope<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face=""Arial Narrow","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">As the “golden years” move along, nostalgia
becomes both a blessing and curse as sometimes I think of a regret I have and
cringe silently as Mrs. jaygerartoday notices a sudden face contortion and asks
if paramedics are needed.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face=""Arial Narrow","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">This has been happening more and more and those
sudden pops of enlightenment enter my consciousness, especially when I am
trying to ease into nap time on my lay-z-boy.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face=""Arial Narrow","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">I can never understand those who claim they have
little or no regrets, some of them I know well enough to wonder to myself “This
person surely does not see what the rest of the world sees”. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face=""Arial Narrow","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Their life book should have pages and pages of mea-culpa,
but their bubble-life will not permit a single ounce of honest self-awareness.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face=""Arial Narrow","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">This is especially true in the political arena
where everyone is right, the other side is wrong, no need to try and discuss the
matter, shouting, accusations and finger-pointing will do just fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face=""Arial Narrow","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Kindness and understanding is not a true reflection
of their lifestyle, regardless of what their yard sign or bumper sticker
professes. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face=""Arial Narrow","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Absolute power is alluring, and does corrupt absolutely.
When you don’t possess it, you’ll move every mountain to gain it.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face=""Arial Narrow","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">For me, it’s time to grab the remote, turn off the
news channels, take the daily paper to my neighbor to use in his fire pit,
deactivate the social media networks and reacquaint myself with Matthew, Mark,
Luke and John.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face=""Arial Narrow","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">It is the Lenten season, and time to ponder some
truths about myself, and make amends.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span face=""Arial Narrow","sans-serif"" style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-31448817530200626822014-10-23T21:43:00.000-04:002015-10-18T05:04:08.516-04:00The King of Halloween<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can’t believe time passes so quickly. It’s not only my
son’s birthday, it’s almost time for the beginning of another season that’s
rapidly approaching.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No I am not speaking of Christmas, there is a much bigger
picture to behold. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Halloween is on the horizon, and eating season begins, that
food minefield where you must navigate through Thanksgiving, Christmas, New
Years’, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s &<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Easter and leaving you in complete denial when you pass a full length
mirror, if you dare to sneak a peek.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You are reminded that you should not have curbed that
exercise bike with an attached “Free” sign because you’re going to need it
again, real soon.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We once owned a top quality exercise bike. It was
strategically placed in our family room, directly in front of the television to
help pass the time as our fitness commitment was in full swing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A few years’ later, when we finally kicked it to the curb,
the odometer read “5.3 miles” (5.1 miles were the result of efforts by our son and daughter).<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was sorely missed as the extra wide seat was ideal to hold
a pizza box, and the handlebars were made to hang the ironing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’ve always hated Halloween, I have been scarred for life
from an early childhood trauma.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The spooky costumes, ghost, goblins, zombies and assorted
dead-walking were never the issue; it was the taunting during those formative
pre-teen years from so-called friends that caused me to flee from the
high-fructose overload event.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I always fantasized wearing a realistic Batman costume.
Nothing but the ultimate true-to-life would do. I would never wish to dishonor
a childhood hero with a cheap store-bought knock off.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I tried to manufacture my own using a black hoodie, a purple
eye mask, orange swim trunks and a bat- belt made from a WW II Army ammo belt
with an attached canteen and a Wham-0 boomerang.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I knew that wouldn’t work.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That year I had to settle on a quickly put-together
Organ-Grinder outfit. I actually just looked like an </span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">11- year- old mustachioed dork holding a cigar box with a
crank-handle and a sock monkey.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I vowed that the following year if I could not be Batman I
would be something really cool.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just around the corner Luke and Mary, a newly-wed young
couple lived.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They were kind of hip, all the kids could relate to them,
and Luke spent a lot of time turning his row home into the scariest place to
visit on all hollows eve.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That year Luke had found in one of his Monster magazines instructions
on how to apply realistic make up just like it is done by artists in
Hollywood.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>He decided on the Wolfman and
would strategically place himself perched on the first branch of a large oak
tree outside his house, ready to hop down and scare the innards out of the
approaching porch beggars.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I watched from afar as he successfully frightened all who
approached, a good time for everyone.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I asked Luke if he would do the same for me the following
Halloween and he agreed.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The following year Luke, true to his word, did a fantastic
job and each homeowner visited was equally impressed with Luke’s professional
application.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I felt like the King of Halloween.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was going to attend an event a few nights later and it was a
costume party so I knew just what I was going to wear to impress these school friends who had
not seen my performance from a few nights ago. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I bragged to all just how great
I looked. It was also a boy-girl gathering and I had my radar set on a
particular cutie I wanted to get to know.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The only problem was that Luke was not available but he
loaned me his instruction manual and the materials needed to complete the task.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rome was not built in a day, the Panama Canal took 33 years
to complete, and a successful application of spirit gum, fake hair and grease
paint to complete a realistic werewolf should have been given a little more
time than a quick rush home from a Friday school day and be expected to appear
professionally monster coiffed in less than 2 hours. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I couldn’t even find my fake fangs and had to wear a pair of
waxed lips that were bucked-toothed in the front.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hair hung in patches on my face and hands. Spirit gum was
like a magnet picking up clumps of tissue and assorted trash which connected to
my hands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Strands of glue gave an
appearance of cobwebs between my fingers and to top it off my teeth were
bucked, not fanged.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I looked like a weird scary demented chipmunk.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The door opened and the mocking and finger-pointing was
incessant. I slinked out of there with my bushy tail between my legs.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In retrospect I should have gone as the Organ Grinder.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All future Halloween’s were spent cutting two holes in
Flintstone bed sheets, costume’s be damned.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I still often fantasize about my missed Batman opportunity
and swear one day to don the cape and cowl.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I just need to find orange swim trunks that fit.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-65731690547751278512014-10-06T16:11:00.001-04:002015-10-18T05:05:45.501-04:00The handwriting is on the wall!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We had a group photo taken at my local pharmacy. The store employees
and all customers in attendance were invited to partake in the festivities.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We were celebrating a milestone in the life of my personal
physician, Dr. Larry, who finally signed scrip that any pharmacist could
decipher.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Larry is a wonderful physician, young, personable, competent
but his abysmal penmanship skills are legendary throughout drug emporiums in
the 5 county area. If the stereotype of poor writing skills among physicians is
factual, then I am proud to say that Dr. Larry must have graduated at the very
top of his class.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Larry once confused my pharmacy so badly that I arrived home from a purchase, opened the bag and found
I was given a “Hello Kitty” Pez dispenser.</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We could use his skills during wartime for secret coding as
it would trump even the Navajo Code Talkers of World War 2.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I had an appointment this past week and was surprised to
find the Doc had hired on a nurse who was completing her training as a
Physician’s Assistant and was following along on each of his appointments.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When the time came for the scrip, the PA dutifully filled
out the form and handed it to me, gasping as I was finally able to gaze upon a piece
of paper that one would believe was created by a classically trained calligrapher. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It took me 20 minutes to finally convince Carl, the
Pharmacist, that I had not illegally obtained Dr. Larry’s pre-signed prescription
pad and was going rogue in pill acquisitions. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">They all took out their cell phones and snapped photos with the
enthusiasm of a tourist spotting a monster on Lock Ness.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The paper was framed and rests proudly atop Carl’s giant
pharmacists perch.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I couldn't admit the Assistant actually wrote out Dr. L's instructions. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Bad physician jokes aside, I recently read that schools are
choosing to discontinue cursive handwriting; it’s being banished from the
public education sector and shown the exit sign quicker than God was booted out.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I cannot criticize as I fail to understand my own scribblings,
and I studied the Palmer method at St. Attica’s under the tutelage of Sister Ernest
Borgnine, the one and the same whose samurai yardstick- wielding skills cured
my own father of his natural southpawedness (the Devil’s hand) turning him into
an ambidextrous and acceptable unto the eyes of the Lord.</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Available time and limited resources are the reasons given
that now allow keyboards and texting to become the mainstay substitute
replacement. The former three “R’s” now become two “R’s” and a tweet.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I often wonder if in the future any remnants of classical education will
be necessary when America moves into a new era with a greater need for competent drone pilots,
security camera operators and boarder fence guards.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We need doers, not thinkers!</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Grandgirl number 1 is a second grader who has been exposed to
the laptop but studies cursive handwriting along with Latin, Egyptian hieroglyphics and the use
of an abacus.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I guess her future is carved in rock, relegated to pyramid
and obelisk building.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Maybe she can assist in construction of the boarder-fence.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We will need those walls to “keep all those undesirables out”.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And when completed the fences can also keep us in.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">At one time didn’t some of our ancestors have to climb a few
walls to get here?</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-48159282617032374652014-10-01T20:55:00.002-04:002015-10-18T05:06:09.275-04:00If at 1st you don't succeed, give up?<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">About 3 years ago I thought a good idea would be to have some fun with my own Podcast.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Two years to the day I launched my 1st Podcast, then tore it down as it was truly the worst broadcast on any airways.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My voice did not belong roaming around in the universe.</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Aliens even emailed requesting I pull the plug on it...so I did.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I am not about to screw around with them.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">After deciding to maybe read a little about podcasting I now made another venture into broadcasting, even if the only audience for the moment is Mrs. Jaygerardtoday and yours truly.</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I met my goal to finally upload my maiden voyage into airwaves.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It is only a short little program, about 11 minutes, but I wanted to give it a try.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I plan on a weekly (Saturday) program.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> The pilot show sucks, but not as badly as its prototype of 2012.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You can find it in the upper left corner of this page. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You will get to hear a nice piece of theme music and will know how to spell my name and how to reach me.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Have a good night.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Jaygerardtoday.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-62250014236065567492014-09-20T13:25:00.001-04:002015-10-18T05:06:49.469-04:00Necco Wafers and Rice Krispies<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Monthly I visit a local pharmacy and
upon entry you are hit with the “theme of the month” display.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Of course September means "back-to-school" items are prominent.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Does this sound unusual to you?</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This is a little small town
drug-store, somewhat dated décor, with the feel of a former era of
prescription fillers.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">No longer available is the old time lunch counter and lacking are large well-lit aisles
bursting with groceries, hardware, automotive supplies and “as-seen-on-TV” gift
items found at larger chain competitors.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The super pharmacies have long ago packed away their
back-to-school goods and have moved on to selling Thanksgiving turkey deep fryers,
cans of pumpkin and cranberry sauce along with the get ready for winter snow
salt and shovels. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Christmas displays are currently under construction.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">By the time Halloween arrives next month you’ll be able to
begin purchasing your Valentine’s Day cards.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If you plan to hand out Halloween candy you would have had to purchase your Snickers and Reese’s in June.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When Halloween arrived I was not one of those kids that
planned their costume for weeks in advance. I was simply one of the candy
opportunists who, at the last minute, cut two holes in a Flintstones bed sheet,
grabbed a grocery bag and began hopping porch to porch; one of the few benefits
of living in a city row house.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You could start early, clean up quickly and be home before
all those “creative costumer's” could navigate their first set of steps wearing
their bulky handcrafted Rice Krispies cereal refrigerator box.</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br /></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Those kids had to waddle the neighborhood at such a slow
pace they would be left with the unwanted scraps; Necco Wafers, Granny
Smith apples and maybe a handful of pennies as the residents ran out of
handouts quickly with all those neighborhood candy glutton porch-jumpers.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The real greedy ones would turn the bed sheets inside out
and begin again.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You eventually learned that returning home too quickly was
also avoided. Parents always wanted to inspect your booty for what they called
“your own good”. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">One could always tell they feigned searching for needles,
razor blades and narcotics that somehow were always discovered in the
Snicker’s, Reese’s and Three Musketeers bars, confiscated, leaving you with
Necco Wafers, suspicious Granny Smith apples and a handful of pennies.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Somehow a portion of the confiscated goods were saved for a
late arriving cousin wearing a Rice Krispy refrigerator box. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Mom and Dad somehow always had a suspicious ring of milk
chocolate around their mouths.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You learned to find a place to bury your fortune away from
neighborhood treasure hunters, squirrels and siblings.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">These days we don’t do Halloween, and haven’t for many
years. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">By 4PM every all hollows eve we scamper outta Dodge to an
early dinner and Christmas shopping, sans the crowds.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We do find gifts even though we navigate around Valentine’s
Day cards and Whitman’s heart shaped chocolates.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I learn from neighborhood gossip just how active the night
became. The city porch jumpers of a bygone era have become better organized and
now transport busloads of candy gluttons to the suburbs in mini-vans and double
decker tour buses similar to those found in London and Philly Tours.</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Mrs. Jaygerardtoday and I usually lie in wait until we are
certain the last vestiges of weeners have gone off in search of greater
fortunes in other hoods.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We slink into our Lay-Z-Boys and relax, usually satisfied we
beat both crowds that evening.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It is, however, inevitable that at some point a knock on the
door is heard only to find some kid in a Rice Krispies box standing there with
his booty bag opened for a handout.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It’s a good thing we picked up a pack of Necco wafers while
we were out.</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: red;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Some of my childhood memories of Ghosts and monsters were blogged here in 2013.</span></i></span></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: red;"><i>If you have time read this oldie.</i></span></b> </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_758235756"><br /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue;"><b><a href="http://www.jaygerardtoday.com/2013/06/from-january-19-2013-when-i-was-child.html"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">http://www.jaygerardtoday.com/2013/06/from-january-19-2013-when-i-was-child.html</span></a></b></span></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-26037976520136637302014-09-15T16:44:00.001-04:002015-10-18T05:07:50.821-04:00Third Time's the Video<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">If at first you don’t succeed, try 2 more times.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">We have all heard the old adage” third time’s the
charm”. </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">The reasoning is that after 2 tries you are most
likely to be successful on the third attempt.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Someone should have told that to Thomas Edison,
who it is said made 1000 attempts to invent the light bulb.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Recently I had switched Cable/Phone/Internet
providers as I often do every few years when my agreement has run its course
and the competitor dangles a carrot too hard to resist.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">I had heard all about the marvels of
“fiber-optics”, its speed and efficiency, so the switch from that old dinosaur
Comcast to Verizon’s FIOS would eventually be inevitable as new technology is
often hard for me to resist</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">I had given Comcast 3 tries to maintain the
current arrangement and when they refused Verizon was more than happy to not
only match the price; they included TV, 3 complimentary months of 43 HBO
channels, 33 Cinemax stations, free installation and a $300 gift card.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">I asked for a large Sicilian pizza but they told
me I was pushing it too far.</span></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"></span></span></span><br /></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Installation went smoothly, holes drilled into the
home without striking something or someone unknown, and quickly I was handed a
remote with about 30 more buttons than I would ever use.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">The hard part is trying to find the 6 or 7 buttons
that are my must-haves.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">No sooner had the technician vamoosed that I
discovered I was beginning to have a problem changing channels.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">My first instinct had me check to see if the
batteries were installed correctly. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">I
assumed they were defective so I put on some pants and drove to BJ’s for a crate-load
of double A’s</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Upon my return, and the remote newly reloaded, I
settled in to do some serious channel surfing only to find another surprise;
the channels still would not change.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">In a little over 1 hour since my new system was
installed I was about to embark on my 1<sup>st</sup> service call.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Too late to have the tech return with another
remote, I was assured the replacement would be on my doorstep the following
day, and it was.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Some people like the engineering and designing of automobiles,
others restoring and repairing. I am one
who just enjoys driving them, some interest in the former but I can handle
anything that can be driven.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">The same is true with most technology. I can usually
find my way around the tech maze, and I am smart enough to carry on conversation
with the bestest of geek-gods without appearing totally lost in the woods, but
operating the controls is what I find most favorable.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">I KNOW HOW TO REPLACE BATTERIES AND CHANGE
CHANNELS, THANK YOU VERIZON!</span></span></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">After I have convinced customer service that the
new remote is probably not the issue, and that fresh batteries had been
installed correctly, and possibly the set top box may be the culprit, I was
assured the replacement would be on my doorstep the following day, and it was.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Box numero dos started flawlessly, and without incident
for about 4 weeks, then it happened again.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Requesting a personal technician without charge
was not happening so replacement box 3 was assured to be on my doorstep the
following day, and it was.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i><span lang="EN" style="color: black;">“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over
again and expecting different results.”</span></i></b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><i>
<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/albert_einstein.html"><span style="color: windowtext; text-decoration: none;">Albert
Einstein </span></a></i></b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: large;">The third time is actually the charm. No, the channels still did not change but I
was assured a free of charge technician would be on my doorstep the following
day, and he was.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Eventually the technician, his supervisor and I were able
to determine the issue was not with Verizon technology, it was a picture
setting on my Vizio TV interfering with the infrared signal, and not the
central air conditioning flow, spider webs and the granddaughters’ remote
control Stuart Little Car all insisted upon by Mrs. Jaygerardtoday.</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWBhCGRXJI6fBwkJODnbk-p-f1EhNTLgxRsfCBRrTlNBk6bSeqW-KgjsgXVxpE08XRlLV8Gn-GYa_PS-az1XFwLu8h1g3KTiQ_b9kPvgHibhkowhtF3deUMu8s8aXwrqrfddcQ8R-A6bo3/s1600/stuart+little.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWBhCGRXJI6fBwkJODnbk-p-f1EhNTLgxRsfCBRrTlNBk6bSeqW-KgjsgXVxpE08XRlLV8Gn-GYa_PS-az1XFwLu8h1g3KTiQ_b9kPvgHibhkowhtF3deUMu8s8aXwrqrfddcQ8R-A6bo3/s1600/stuart+little.jpg" width="200" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black;">I tell this
little story because I wait for another “third-time charm” event to unfold.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black;">A few weeks
ago Mrs. Jaygerardtoday had ordered pants for me from the online Freakishly Tall and Big & Husky Boy Men’s
store.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black;">I have worn these
in the past, they are quite comfortable, but hemming is needed from the factory
as our sewing machine had rusted shut decades ago.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black;">Thus far the
original shipment arrived hemless, as well as the replacement.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black;">Shipment
number 3 is due to arrive in a few days, and I am certain it will too, as
promised.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black;">I can only
trust that the third time charm principle will apply here, or they will need to
send along a seamstress.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span lang="EN" style="color: black;">I have to go
back to BJ’s for some more batteries and I need the pants.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 15pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-91105881059629735832014-09-02T17:16:00.001-04:002015-10-18T05:08:29.732-04:00Say Cheese...but cut the cards!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt;">Finley Peter Dunne, the
humorist, created a column and character Martin. J Dooley
saloon-keeper/philosopher who dispersed wisdom from behind a
mythical Chicago bar. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
His musings were carried in the Chicago newspapers in the late
1800's.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
One of his quotes, and my favorite was "Trust everyone but still cut the
cards.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
My little town, like many across America, has been reaching out to business
owners and entrepreneurs to help resurrect an old, (and former pre-mall)
bustling downtown business district.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
Modeling after some successful small towns (located not too far from us) we
have attracted some of the stereotypical favorites; restaurant/coffee houses
frequented by deadbeats for the free Wi-Fi, consignment shops, Art studios,
Farmer's Markets, renovated Railways Stations and of course the obligatory
Tattoo Parlor.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt;"></span><br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt;">I am "tat-free" and have no desire for a colorful Dragon or Grateful
Dead dancing bear to grace my less than taut fleshy parts, but if I ever were
to sloganize my skin, this Martin Dooley quote would surely be one to consider.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
It took years for me to realize the truthfulness behind bartender
Dooley's statement, usually after much pain and loss during my youth, when
carelessness and invincibility partnered with naïveté; trusting those I once
considered close.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
Life's learning curves can be both painful and embarrassing, especially when
your foibles and indiscretions are exposed for all to witness, mock and leer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
As a father of a daughter, and grandfather to 5 little girls (with a 6th
grand-baby on the way), it would pain me if in the future I would have to
witness the embarrassment and humiliation now experienced this week by a number
of young, beautiful "celebrity" women who trusted friends and
I-clouds with very personal moments in their lives.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
By all accounts it appears that this dissemination of photographs were
unauthorized for public view. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt;">They trusted friends, lovers and security but
were betrayed by technology and social media hacker-profiteers lacking
conscience for the sake of twisted conquest.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
For those who want a sneak peak at feminine anatomy the Internet is never
lacking. There has and always will be those whose decision it is to display
their wares.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
For the young women affected by this current scandal, you have my sympathy and
support of the capture and prosecution of the scoundrels involved.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
Live, Learn, Move-On and next time "cut the cards".</span><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-62255943635947814072014-08-31T20:29:00.004-04:002015-10-18T05:09:14.750-04:00I Now Pronounce You...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I now pronounce you Dyson and wife.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Mrs. Jaygerardtoday insisted that the vacuum she needed
would provide many years of cleaning nirvana, a little pricey for me, the cheapskate,
who could easily overlook a few hundred yards of dust-bunnies in favor of the
cheapest price at Big Lots.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">True to her word, she loves the machine, we are dust-bunny
free and she has jokingly remarked she would “marry it”.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Strange how we casually use the “M” word, marry, especially
in this age when communities, states and whole countries are wrestling with its
definition that for thousands of years had been clearly understood.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Over the past few decades a tiny fraction of society has
successfully been able to maneuver media and judiciaries towards far-left
leaning liberal thoughts on the matter.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">More traditional beliefs, still in a majority, continue to
hold onto a man-woman insistence as definitions continue in flux in courtrooms
and legislatures across the country.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The future is still being written but in some way I can now
see how the traditionalist’s metaphor of the Pandora’s Box has slowly opened,
with creatures escaping and encircling us.</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span><br /></div>
</div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Just this week a judge in Utah has suggested that the ban on
plural marriage, polygamy, may be in part unconstitutional and has made an
effort to reverse it. Somehow I suspect the average woman would not find this
arrangement the most acceptable, but women have put up with worse throughout
history.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Just ask my spouse.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The most bizarre related story I have read, to date, has
been the “marriage” of a woman in England, Amanda Rodgers, who wedded her
beloved Jack Russell terrier, Sheba, in a ceremony held in Croatia.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">As Amanda has told the British press she proposed to Sheba
and the pooch accepted by wagging her tail.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">According to news reports, the ceremony was attended by 200
guests.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Eddie (Moose) from the TV Show “Frazier” couldn’t make it.
He died.</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span></span><br /></div>
</div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So now do we not only have cross-species marriages, we have
same-sex, cross species couplings.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Will the fun ever end?</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This brings us to the next level, human and machine.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Spousy has not only expressed her “love” for the Dyson, she
has utter the “M” word for everything from coffee makers to snow shovels.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She has become a hardware-technology hussy.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Her latest flirtation is the beloved Asus tablet.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">As quickly as possible she relaxes in her Laz-Y-Girl each
evening cuddling and hugging her newest love until so exhausted she enters
slumberland.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I have finally accepted this new arrangement.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Last week, while she snoozed, I snuck a member of the clergy
into our home and had him pronounce her and the flatscreen officially united.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Awaking later she was curious as to how she became covered
with rice.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Mr. Dyson took care of the mess.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Now we have a nifty 3 way arrangement, Man-Woman and
Machine.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Pandora, open the box a little wider please.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-12664915854207584682014-08-30T11:44:00.000-04:002015-10-18T05:10:23.392-04:00The Contrarian Falls Head-First into Social Media<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I was never much on following the
herd, not because I found others disdainful, I just had a curiosity to see if
there was anything else of interest that was being overlooked by the masses.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This contrarian view could lead to indecision and immobility, but I have
never feared new thought, rather I embraced changes, innovations, improvements
and technologies but always with a firm belief that mankind was inherently
flawed but with constant tweaking goals could be achieved.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I don't view Contrarian Thought a disorder, rather I consider it a vehicle
that enables us to maneuver through life a little quicker than those whose
impetuousness and lack of forethought cause unnecessary hurdles.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What's the rush? We'll get there and hopefully without all of any undue stress
and hurdle jumping.</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I sometimes look in frustration at the jackrabbits whose well-intentioned
enthusiasm prove the age-old adage that "there is never enough time to do
it right, but always enough time to do it over".</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My ideal contrarian would be the tortoise who finishes while enjoying the
surroundings along the race path. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Eventually every artist must put down the brush and declare their
masterpiece "finished". There is the danger that the contrarian
artist could continue on the touch up, even after the painting is sold and they
feel it necessary to show up at the owners' residence, oils in hand, requesting
permission to do "just one more thing".</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">How does a Contrarian find a fit in Social Media? Speaking for myself
I can only say its like jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge and praying the
bungee cord holds. No time for forethought, you're pushed into the pool and it
becomes "swim kid or sink".</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I envisioned the pace of SM (social media for brevity, thank you) to be
similar to feeding a three-year-old a breakfast of Captain Crunch, Hershey
bars, Marshmallows and hot dogs then taking him to an amusement park and having
him ride a Tilt-A-Whirl placed on top of a 10 story Roller-Coaster.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I don't believe this is too far from the truth. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Nerve-wracking, frightening, nauseating but also curious, exciting and, yes
fun!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As I venture in to this foreign soil I will certainly log my discoveries, of
course with my own somewhat acerbic viewpoint.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
Hopefully the bungee is secured.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: red;"><b><i><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></i></b></span></span></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-83710007317861586212014-08-14T21:41:00.002-04:002015-10-18T05:11:03.822-04:00It's your Thing.<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everyone has “a thing”, something in their interest,
work, hobby, physical characteristic that identifies them to everyone? <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We often pigeon-hole people in our life based on their
interests and hobbies, appearances and past experiences, and everything in-between.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My boss, Joseph A. Carter, I compartmentalize as a rabid politicophile
as his interest in politics and activism is something I have not witnessed
since the 1970’s (and I work for a newspaper). He also has a love for baseball,
music, designer beer and grilling (although his fascination with beer can
chicken seems to have wavered).</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></span><br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>We can
discuss a movie, television program or a particular singer and I await the
inevitable “do you know he/she is a liberal (or conservative) etc. He too compartmentalizes
in an abbreviated way, right and left, conservative or liberal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It does seem to streamline and simplify
things a bit.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back in 1986 there were a series of commercials promoting
California Raisins. Hip, anthropomorphized <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">(wonder
how long I waited to use that big word)</i> musical raisins sang “I Heard It
Through The Grapevine” all to promote the benefits of dried up grape eating for
the California Raisin Advisory Board.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My mother made the fatal error of announcing to the family
that she thought the raisins were cute. The next few birthdays, Mother’s day, Christmas
and assorted holidays found her overwhelmed with all the advertising nick-knacks
one could find at Spencer’s gifts in the mall. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Given the choices available at that store, Dancing Raisin
clocks and figurines were the only PG rated item available.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My mother would never throw any gift away, no matter how
hideous, and she could never understand how my brothers and I would swap Christmas
presents if what the other had suited our needs. She kept every gift, not as a
hoarder, but out of cherishing the thoughtfulness and love behind the
present.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She passed a few years ago and my brother, Johhny Fangs,
lives in the family homestead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just
today he tweeted me a pix of some figurines he found at the house.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTXwiq5y6mfQlc39HpGsrY-B2VE9OcjRUV-ca_2RCFfOucM_OKToU7n-dZrgMqDxYg_63aFKrMIvyvw8ycSwkGGRpPV2AVSX8kkWhsJc1skpG3RtYQPAX9uWhsqWKYqu952t1lz7PM2Gke/s1600/064.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTXwiq5y6mfQlc39HpGsrY-B2VE9OcjRUV-ca_2RCFfOucM_OKToU7n-dZrgMqDxYg_63aFKrMIvyvw8ycSwkGGRpPV2AVSX8kkWhsJc1skpG3RtYQPAX9uWhsqWKYqu952t1lz7PM2Gke/s1600/064.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mrs. Jaygerardtoday for years had been identified by her
interest in cats. This was a love for the creatures, not a strange addiction found
in inter-city row homes where neighbors report unusual smells only to discover a
few hundred felines running rampant with a decomposing octogenarian on the
kitchen floor. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She too was a recipient
of numerous figurines, coffee mugs, salt and pepper shaker sets until one day
she calmly announced “enough is enough, there is no more room in this house and
it’s just too weird”. The collection slowly disappeared onto the basement IKEA
shelves, collecting dust and awaiting an eventual yard sale.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have decided to formally announce my decision to make
something “my thing”. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My family never knows what to give me as a gift, not that
I have a Warren Buffett bank account and can purchase anything I so desire, I
just never express an interest that can tie in to gift giving. <br /> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I will now make Christmas,
Birthdays and Father’s Day easy on family and friends with my new interest:
collecting gold and silver.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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</div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Feel free to gift wrap as much as you wish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I promise that like my mother I too will
never throw it away and unlike my spouse I will never grow weary and retire it
to the basement IKEA shelves.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-80501534162056164362014-08-02T12:38:00.000-04:002015-10-18T05:12:05.344-04:00K?<!--[if !mso]>
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a><br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">A few years ago I had taken a college course in Criminal
Justice. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">I had no interest in becoming an officer of the law, it was
an elective that I believed would benefit me greatly. I thought it would be the only college course I had ever taken
where knowledge gained could be retained and applied for many years;
translation, how I could learn to beat a traffic citation. </span><br />
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Well worth the price per credit hour.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Well my plan backfired.
I dropped the course, as I found the textbook to be very boring for these
reasons:</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">·<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span>The author learned a new word, “paradigm” and somehow
found a way to insert it into every sentence. I am still uncertain if I
actually know the true meaning.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 1in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">·<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span>I was convinced that Cop-Speak was only in
acronyms. I know this sounds as if I am
exaggerating but the text was so overloaded with 3 and 4 letter words that the
course credits should also be applied to foreign language studies.</span><br />
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<br /></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">These days, especially with “texting & tweeting-mania”
running a muck, our every thought, deed or misdeed needs to be shared in
writing, (or vine and youtube videos) and instantaneous, so I guess brevity and
speed becomes paramount.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">I have studied Latin (well I sat in a classroom for a year),
as well as 4 years of Spanish and I am still unable to determine if the contractors
installing my new roof are actually plotting against me. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Now I must resign myself to learning a new language, namely
acronyms. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Does everyone over the age of 40 realize that there are
currently almost 1000 acronyms used in texting?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Truth be told 1000 is probably larger than my total
vocabulary (including my Latin & Spanish words) but current medical science
suggests that as we age, mind-expanding activities, like learning to play an
instrument, a new language and doing crossword puzzles may help keep us from
forgetting where we left the car keys (or the car, or the spouse) so I guess I
need to check Amazon for the "Acronyms for Dummies" book and start cracking the code.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">I understand that there are character restrictions when
tweeting, so choosing the right words to express oneself can be challenging,
acronyms abound. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Texting, however, provides plenty of opportunity (while
seated in your office cubicle) for one to ridicule and detail how their
co-workers and boss are so clueless and inferior that acronyms are really not
needed unless others are relentlessly spying on you while you are screwing off.</span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">As is every other thing in life, once something new is
introduced into the society, and before you have an understanding of what it is
all about, there will always be someone at the ready to quickly alter the
existing and create a new paradigm (did I get it right?).</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">This is now occurring with acro-speak.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Just when I am finally getting to learn how to hit the
correct keys on my Galaxy 4 without having spell check insert words making me
sound even dumber, a co-worker acknowledged one of my tweets with the letter
“K”. I thought it was due to his lack
of sobriety but over the course of the next few days he repeated the acknowledgement
using just the letter “K” in additional texts.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">He was too lazy to preface with the letter “O”, thus he was
acronyming the acronym.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">I was pondering just how lazy this lunkhead was until I
started to receive similar responses from others, including my own daughter.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Wow, I guess my life isn’t as busy as others. I actually
have excessive time on my hands to include the “O” in OK. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">I am beginning to feel slothful.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">I will conform, get in line and understand the new-speak and
all of its variations. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">I know my mind will also benefit from the mental
exercises and one day I will remember where I left my car keys and my spouse.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">
</span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<br />
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<br /></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-63782579147124166862014-08-02T12:19:00.003-04:002015-10-18T05:12:44.011-04:00The Do-Over<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Many years ago I saw a television interview with a very,
very famous man, (now passed on) summarizing events in his life.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">He said something that was quite shocking i.e. he told the
interviewer that he had absolutely no regrets about his life, none whatsoever.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I cannot imagine someone so senior, alive on this planet for
so many decades and never having to wake up in the morning cringing upon the
realization that he may misbehaved or had misplaced something during an evening
of celebration (car keys, credit cards, pants). </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Didn’t he ever insult every coworker after drinking all the
egg nog at the company Christmas party then pass out on the floor, sans pants,
under the mistletoe.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Has he never brought a large box of vino to the family
Thanksgiving gathering, began talking politics and religion only to find
himself awakening in a cornfield in New Jersey?</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The only reasonable explanation is that he developed some
form of senior forgetfulness preventing him from reliving a regrettable past.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I was thinking about “day after regrets” after we celebrated
July 4<sup>th</sup> recently, our nation’s birthday.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">With all those signers of the Declaration of Independence
can we not just assume that at least 1 signer would have awakened on July 5<sup>th</sup>
with a “My God What Have I Done” moment.</span></span><br />
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<br /></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It is actually nice not having any regrets and taking
responsibility for bad behavior. I have
noticed a trend slowly changing our attitude allowing us to remove shame from
our personal integrity. It seems only
those politicians in Asian countries now show remorse for very bad decisions in
their lives. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Newscasts always produce some political type in Japan or
along the Asian ring tearfully begging forgiveness from fellow countrymen for
an egregious act. We watch in anticipation to see if the anguished penitent
will produce a short Hari Kari sword as restitution for what most of us would
consider a minor infraction by today’s standards.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">He should come to America. Not only could he teach us
something about personal integrity, he would be such a political oddity that
we’d create a TV reality show for him.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Actually now Americans have ramped-up something called a
“do-over”. We also have embraced another term called “going forward”. Both are cleverly designed to eliminate any
discomfort for being such a screw up.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Politicians and their handlers are majestic in the way they
turn their bad behaviors away from scorn and ridicule to a public just waiting
to embrace and cuddle them like a hurt child for doing something wrong. After
all don’t we all make mistakes? We can’t be too harsh or judgmental. Everyone gets a second chance, a do over so
that going forward they know the error of their ways and can avoid future
pitfalls.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This always seems to work when your party favorite is the
bad dog. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The opposition wants to whack your nose with the newspaper
and banish you to the doghouse.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br /></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I know a man, we call him “do-over Bob”, one of the most
intelligent, creative souls on this planet.
Self-taught he is just about the best printer, graphic artist and
computer whiz I have ever known. He is instantly like by almost everyone he
meets but he has one major flaw that always caused a problem for him in his
print business; he could not proofread causing far too many flyers, forms,
letterheads and envelopes to be tossed into the trash bin at a financial loss
for him.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">No one ever said “that’s Ok, I’ll accept this garbage and
send it along to my customers so I can look un-professional”. No Bob accepted
responsibility and reran the job to the customer’s satisfaction, and to his
financial loss.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I recall my first financial loss. As an 11 year-old growing
up in Philly we had something that arrived in corner stores each summer, the
“pimple ball”. It was a white hollow
rubber ball with raised bumps thus the name “pimple”.</span></span><br />
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<br /></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Before the air was finally extinguished we played street<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a> games like stickball, wall ball, wireball, boxball,
handball, curbball and step ball. When
the bounce finally left we cut it in half and played half-ball using your
mother’s broom stick.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">One summer day I was practicing my step ball skills on Mrs.
Cumberland’s steps. After I had broken
her window my parents, and Mrs. Cumberland, were both curious as to why I
decided not to practice on home turf, traveling halfway up the block to the
home of a neighbor I hardly knew.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I didn’t get a “do-over”.
There was no “that’s alright, you learned a lesson now going forward……”.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I got punished for being such a lunkhead, banished to my
room and made to make restitution.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It is now time to implement similar practices to our elected
officials if there is ever any hope for real progress.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I don’t suggest the severe measures taken by our friends in
the Far East, but maybe we could send our Senators, Congressmen and
Commander-in-Chief to their rooms until suitable corrective measures can be
taken.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We will get to say things like “Go to the Lincoln bedroom,
Mr. President and think about what you have done. No golf for you”!</span></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-11114190868609033072014-06-20T19:34:00.001-04:002015-10-18T05:13:10.663-04:00Step aside Dear Abby<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Gone are the days when even the simplest question, or bar
bet, necessitated a drive to the library. One could spend hours searching
through Dewey decimals, hopefully finding the book or magazine you needed
had not been checked out, then actually writing down your answer and head back home
to complete a book report, or collect on a wager.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now within nanoseconds the wisdom of the universe is as
close as your keyboard.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The computer and the Internet is our “genie in a flat
screen”, there to do our bidding on a whim. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Knowledge surpassing the ancient
library at Alexandria, or even the Vatican, and yet there exists a component of this
wonderment containing a glitch preventing it from ever becoming our
master, despite all the ominous sci-fi predictions (like HAL in 2001 Space
Odyssey).</span></span><br />
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The fly in the ointment is in the delivery system,
specifically the ISP, certainly not a “HAL”, more like the “Fredo” of the
industry.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I have been on the Internet a long time, maybe even longer
than AL Gore, and have tried almost every available service since the
get-go.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Recent university graduates are
favored never knowing the dial up days when you would begin downloading a photo,
then take in a double feature, steak and "Bloomin’ Onion" at the Outback and
return home just in time to grab the print as it was exiting the tray.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">These were our salad days when we considered state of the
art to be the “Hamster-Dance”.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Internet becomes friendlier each day. I only
wish many of my ancestors could have lived to witness where this technological
marvel has brought us. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I believe that many of them would stand in awe the same
way they had at the advent of radio, television, the toaster and the demise of
the telephone party line.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">With all that high speed and accumulating wiki-knowledge, I
occasionally appreciate pushing myself away from the monitor just to get back
in touch with my humanness. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My human emotions surface the moment I dial my Internet Service
Provider to discuss another puzzling incorrect billing statement; knowing full
well I will be attempting a resolution using the greater part of a vacation
day and a never-ending "please hold for a few moments" recording.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I keep calling my provider just because I have to wait a
few extra hours for my newspaper’s website to load. This is due, I am told, to our company's attempt to place 30-50 flashing, jumping, blinking, video-ads on the main page.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Hedge fund investors, accountants and ad
reps that have pushed aside editorial integrity for advertising placement, now
run newspapers.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yes, I am no communist, I know it takes bucks to run a
newspaper, even a digital one, but why can’t we just move all those jumping ads next to items
no one under the age of 75 reads today; like Dear Abby, obits and the letters
to the editor.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Newspaper handlers tend to salivate over any new
idea that will propel them into appearing current and hip. They long for a
piece of the youth market. These idealists are convinced that when the current
batch of seniors finally move on, the current future octogenarians will have
embraced digital publishing as their preferred choice for news and views. Today's teens and hipsters, they believe,
will be able to help them maintain a healthy on line customer base.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This all sounds ideal until the realization that today’s
young’uns have little desire to follow something as boring as news on their
smart phones. Their choice goes even
beyond what the elders call “social media” (i.e. what the parents and
grannies do now that they finally left MySpace & AOL and got Facebooked).</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Kids choices have moved light-years beyond to avoid the peering eyes of their
helicopter parents. Their one constant
appears to be video gaming. Youth of
all ages still seem to embrace it.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My suggestion is that publishers rearrange ad placement
elsewhere and make it interactive.
Program those annoying pop ups to become targets, just like an old video
arcade game.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We all win. The youth <a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a>will finally
open a newspaper, Ad reps can truthfully convince business owners that someone
is actually reading on line newspapers, and my only reason for contacting
Comcast will be to complain about their billing.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Step aside Dear Abby; I am taking aim at an IKEA ad.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-5825039157218229242014-06-12T19:46:00.001-04:002015-10-18T05:14:06.051-04:00What's your set-point?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">All around Pennsylvania I constantly
see markings on autos, homes and sportswear touting affiliation as an alumni or
parent of a Penn State’er. </span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Regardless of a very embarrassing recent history
Penn State still instills a sense of pride among graduates. For many, the years
spent there will be the best of their lives.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There is a set-point in everyone’s life that may be
considered “our very best years”. This summer just sit by any group at a picnic
and listen to the conversations. For
some it was their high school football team, for others their military service,
college days, summer camp, beach vacations, Woodstock; you name it.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I never participated in that kind of talk, believing I have
no desire to be lumped in with any group longing to be stuck in days gone by.
Today and tomorrow have always proved the best for me.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Most people become frozen in a particular decade, even if they profess not. Choices in music, clothing and inflections in their conversation can be a give-away, but hairstyles can be the acid test to identify the truth.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As I travel around I still see some people sporting the ol’
flat-top, others the big hair from the 80’s. I occasionally find the classic
“mullet”, after all I do live at the gateway of Pennsyltuckey. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As I mock others I realize what a hypocrite I am, if only my
words matched my actions.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This epiphany came about just after my most recent haircut.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I learn to adapt well to most changes however, when I find a
doctor, dentist or auto mechanic I like, I am loyal for life; that is until
they usually retire, then I sit Shiva, mourning the loss.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The same goes for my barber. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I have had 4 barbers in my life, coincidentally the exact same
number as my primary physicians, dentists and auto mechanics.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPigkDWgFuug4u9Q50Ef-v1-_R05hPKURUGX5HN7LevAubnC6qQLtTof-xFMOJVSZStLl0DUnzUItAVLSgw09j8KXutIGuXugv5qN6l5oSh_VO_e0ayiI9hi7CFSZQC0n05Ag4Cj_agdK3/s1600/DSCF0117.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPigkDWgFuug4u9Q50Ef-v1-_R05hPKURUGX5HN7LevAubnC6qQLtTof-xFMOJVSZStLl0DUnzUItAVLSgw09j8KXutIGuXugv5qN6l5oSh_VO_e0ayiI9hi7CFSZQC0n05Ag4Cj_agdK3/s1600/DSCF0117.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">After barber #3, I went on a frantic search for his
replacement. Wanting to support the
locals, as much as possible, I came across what appeared to be a converted shed
run by a 90 year-old country farmer who has but one style of cut to offer i.e.
the old bowl placed on top of the head and let the trimming begin.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Since I wanted something a little more fashionable than the
Moe Howard (and my hair somewhat resembles Larry Fine when overgrown) I
continued searching until I landed on Vinnie, “Barber to the Mob”.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">That same week I was searching, Vinnie turned on the barber
pole and opened his door for business.
His establishment had a very unique décor. Rather than the usual photos of hair styles to choose from,
Vinnie covered the walls with movie photos of mobsters. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Godfather, Goodfellas, The Sopranos, Robert Di Niro, George
Raft and Joe Pesci reigned supreme.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Vinnie himself has a “mobster-like” voice right from central
casting. Very friendly and affable, somewhere deep down you know you have to
compliment the cut or else you envision Vinnie telling you that you could be
“sleeping with the fishes”.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">On every visit Vinnie asks my preference. My response is always the same; “get rid of
the Larry Fine, slight cut all around and make it appear as though I still have
some hair. In other words do your best Mojo on me.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When the scissors clipped their last hair, and the big hand
mirror is brought out to display the final result, I know I can count on
looking like a throwback to the early 60’s; Larry Fine gone.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I now resemble Beaver Clever.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Well at least it is now summer and I can wear a Phillies hat
for a few weeks until some hair grows back.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I would say something but I don’t want to disappoint Vinnie,
or sleep with the fishes.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-83139732292400074032014-06-03T19:59:00.002-04:002015-10-18T05:14:35.029-04:00A car by any other name is still a lemon<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14pt;">Humorist
Jean Shepherd once related a personal story to author/cartoonist Shel
Silverstein about how he was constantly teased as a kid because of his very
feminine sounding name.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14pt;">Silverstein
wrote music about a boy with a girl’s name and performed it at the home of a
friend who took the song to California, performed it before a captive
(literally) audience at a prison and thus in the early 1970’s “A Boy Named Sue”
was born.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It became a huge hit for
Johnny Cash who performed it live at San Quentin.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14pt;">In
the book of Genesis in the Bible, the story goes that Adam was given the task
of naming all the animals. As a kid I understood that as not naming a giraffe
by its species, rather, I thought Adam’s task was daunting as he had to give
this giraffe the name “Fred” that giraffe “Ethel” and so on.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14pt;">He
could get woozy and pass out if he found a mound of ants. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14pt;">When
would he ever find time to “share that apple” with Eve?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14pt;">No
wonder they lived so long in the Old Testament.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14pt;">I
have a whole flock of females in my family whose names are so unique that I
could never find an imprinted coffee mug at a mall kiosk to give to any of them
as a gift.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seriously my wife, daughter,
daughter-in-law and all 5 granddaughters have “normal” sounding names but not
common enough for the mass market. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14pt;">Recently
I did see an imprinted keychain with the name Keshandra. It was the last one on
the rack</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14pt;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14pt;">There
were others? Who could have thunk it?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14pt;">I
bring up the naming of things because I was curious as to a car commercial I
saw about a Volkswagen product called the “Tiguan”. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14pt;">I
found that the crossover vehicle, Tiguan, is a name combining the
“crossing-over” of two species, the Tiger and the Iguana.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14pt;">Having
been an owner of two models of “superior” German engineering, I will expect to
see the Tiguan perform with the same reliability as my former vehicles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14pt;">I would
have to park them at the top of a steep hill so I could push-start those lemons
in order be able to drive <a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a>to my auto mechanic.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14pt;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14pt;"></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14pt;">The
microbus was once towed 11 times in 2 months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My insurance agent warned me that I was about to become the 1<sup>st</sup>
person in the history of Nationwide Insurance to have his towing privileges
revoked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14pt;">With
my luck with the folks at volks, if I were to purchase a Tiguan I would have to
change the name.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">How about “money-pit”?</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-4366649708080153632014-05-19T19:46:00.005-04:002015-10-18T05:15:03.530-04:00Cool Hand Fangs<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I comment quite often on food issues, after all like many people,
eating has become almost an obsession for me. I could just as easily
have kept or acquired many other vices to help ease me over life's
little hurdles but food provides an endless amount of choices, is
readily available, it's legal, injures no others and it provides
comfort; thus the name “comfort food”.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Who ever heard of comfort beer?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I always mentioned my on going battle to win the personal war over
girth, but another strange twist came to my attention recently
whenever I frequent the local hipster-markets (Trader Joe's &
Whole Foods), namely the war going on in my shopping cart at the
check out line.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I never realized that not all foods in my basket love one other,
actually the check out hipster request that I place some my choices
in separate bags, almost like battling siblings being ordered into
separate corners of a house by a frustrated mother.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">They never seem to explain just why I should choose to have my
meats placed in their own canvass bag away from all my other choices
but I listen very carefully on each ride home and have yet to hear
any commotion between a chicken leg and a can of beans.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I think their screwing with me. They have no other hobbies since
no one seems to be “occupying” anyplace at this time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We all know those hollow leggers who eat all day without remorse.
There are no food battles for them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have one in particular in my own family, my brother Johnny
Fangs.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I can devote volumes to his legacy of consumption but the story I
have today is one minor episode in the life of Gobzilla, (the monster
who devours gobs and gobs of food hourly).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I thought about Johnny yesterday while watching a Paul Newman
movie.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We were kids both away at summer camp and the movie everyone was
talking about was “Cool Hand Luke”. There is that memorable scene
where Luke (Paul Newman) devours 50 hard boiled eggs on a wager
placed by the other chain gang inmates to help pass the time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was telling the other campers about Johnny's accomplishments and
of course there were many doubters. If they had only noticed that he
regularly returned in line for 3<sup>rd</sup> 4<sup>th</sup> and 5<sup>th</sup>
helpings they would have saved a few camp dollars when the wagers
were placed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This time it was pancakes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I lived with him, I new his culinary skill set and to consume 50
pancakes in an hour while washing it all down with a few gallons of
milk would be child's play for him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We were both ready to earn some serious camp bucks.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As the clock ticked away there he was proudly pouring syrup all
over his conquest, downing glass after glass of milk with the ease of
that skinny Asian hot dog eating champion kid.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Fifty was certainly a stretch but after one hour there he lay on
the ground, his big old smile covered in stickiness, wearing a milk
mustache holding a fistful of camp dollars and asking if he could get
a doggy bag to take back to the cabin.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The rest of us hurled pancakes like Frisbees in a big food fight.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
</span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Cool Hand Fangs, the legend continues.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-85810493166354998072014-05-04T16:55:00.002-04:002015-10-18T05:15:19.700-04:00You can go home again.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Australian journalist Ella Winter once said to Thomas
Wolfe “Don’t you know you can’t go home again”. Of course he used that title
and the quote is often mistakenly attributed to him.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Obviously today’s Baby-Boomers (along with their Gen-x’ers,
Millenniums, Gen y’s and maybe z’s etc) have not paid attention and are
beginning to intrude on the living quarters of both the Greatest & Silent
Generations as today’s economy, unemployment and daily hardships force the
sharing of home, hearth and video games again. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Multi-generational boomer-angers and all those prune juicers
together under one roof should prove challenging.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I have heard that there are as much as 90 + million
Americans either unemployed or underemployed, and the hope and change promised
just a few short years’ ago never actually materialized, with facts and figures
shrouded in nothing more than the slick tongues of snake oil salesman.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There is an uneasiness that seems to permeate the spirits of
today’s citizens, who for decades believed in the American dream. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This dream should never waiver; we have sailed through these
rough waters before, and can do so once again, when we realize that we truly
are the greatest nation on earth.</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Immigrants continue to climb walls and dodge bullets to get
here, much like many of our ancestors.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And don't forget the men and women who continue to fight for this dream on battlefields. </span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yes, in many ways we can go home again. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The answers are out there, and we have 300 million voices
that can contribute to the solution.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
And a little prayer wouldn’t hurt.</span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-628207475608238242014-04-20T08:55:00.003-04:002015-10-28T11:21:51.088-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong></strong></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong></strong></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9DMhAoLXiozZojS96Nc6NUtAal0kNph_nNYkzd8a7UUFHeAzVBFVvcf2fO4P2Y5OG99SUjmk-wHZmc8KHr1ka6O1UKgvnXn8R_8fT5GJ16Yw3qghPnJhu-Mdf3LB7_ALzI8llmBWCEoe_/s1600/empty+tomb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9DMhAoLXiozZojS96Nc6NUtAal0kNph_nNYkzd8a7UUFHeAzVBFVvcf2fO4P2Y5OG99SUjmk-wHZmc8KHr1ka6O1UKgvnXn8R_8fT5GJ16Yw3qghPnJhu-Mdf3LB7_ALzI8llmBWCEoe_/s200/empty+tomb.jpg" width="151" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong></strong></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong>He is </strong></span><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><strong>Risen </strong></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Happy Easter</span></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-68283152757158816272014-04-19T13:18:00.002-04:002015-10-18T05:16:09.734-04:00Poppy Fat Camp, pass the Tang please.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We had been invited to spend a weekend
babysitting for our toddler granddaughters (twin 2 year olds and another who
just turned 1).</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">How hard could this be? We witnessed our daughter manage
these cuties and run a household with ease and organization, and after all she
is a product of our superior genes, and these southern belles are so sweet how
could we refuse.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As soon as the date for her mini vacation with her husband
was set, our train tickets were purchased and the anticipation was underway.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We were confident in being able to handle this assignment
easily as we just knew that two seasoned professionals could certainly overcome
any parenting obstacles our daughter had to endure with ease.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Tag-team grand
parenting should allow us ample time to relax, at days end, fulfilled in the
knowledge that two-and-a-half tots were no match for such brilliance.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Realities became apparent almost immediately the moment the
parents loaded the car and waved adios:</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 38.45pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">1.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span>It had been decades since we were the youthful, barely-legal parents
of tots and now we had been commissioned for duty for an entire weekend.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 38.45pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">2.<span style="-moz-font-feature-settings: normal; -moz-font-language-override: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span>There were 3 of them.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yes, coordinating the daily life of two and a half tots can
be an eye opener, and gathering them together for activities can be like herding kittens, at any moment they are in
different stages of dress/undress, toy preferences changing by the second, food
etiquette soars out the window, diapers are constant.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">By evenings end when bath and bedtime were finally
accomplished (it would take paragraphs to describe that adventure each night),
and household cleanup was finalized,there was just enough energy left to
find a pillow and crash.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It is a great workout if you are trying to lose weight. By
bedtime your body knows it’s been really busy. I called it “Poppy Fat Camp” and
highly recommend it to those “Biggest Loser” style television programs. Run
after a flock of toddlers for a few months and watch the fat melt rapidly.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In the movie “Groundhog Day” there was a recurring scene
where Bill Murray would awaken each morning at the exact time, having to endure
the same daily scenario until he made right events in his life needing
correction.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It was a little like that!</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Truth be told by day three the tots finally had conditioned
us to be aligned with their orbit and we survived, eventually getting it just
right and ready to tackle the task again when asked.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Just maybe not when they are teenagers.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: red;">The Train Trip</span></b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As always, I need to comment on Amtrak’s Carolinian train
travel.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Heading south the train was ½ hour late arriving in Philly.
By the time we reached Greensboro that amplified into 90 minutes. When delays occur you can usually hear
rumblings in the seats requesting updates from the staff. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Having spent years in the printing and
publishing industry I know it is futile to ever get the strait scoop for any
delay.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Just like printers, train staffs are experienced in
explaining away encountered problems in a way a passenger can understand.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Sorry sir, we had a family of rabid raccoons on the tracks
near Raleigh and had to wait until Amtrak animal control could arrive and
safely remove them”.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Still I would rather be a little late riding the rails then
circling above airports or sitting for hours on a tarmac, at least without
being heavily imbibed.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It was nice to see the Washington Monument finally restored
and the “erector set” that surrounded it during restoration removed.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">One curious observation I noticed in Virginia was a man
having to stand outside his place of business for a smoke break.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">He worked at a cigarette wholesale warehouse.</span></span></b></i></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I believe that if you work in the capital of tobacco, and in
a related field, it should be mandatory to smoke indoors. You should not even
be allowed to hire a non-smoker.</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br /></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The smoke police have way too much power (and I am an
ex-smoker, 20 years).</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My boss, Joseph A. Carter, commented, “Virginia is for
lovers, not smokers”.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: red;">The Astronaut Wife</span></b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If you were alive during the early days of the space race,
or if you ever visit the Air and Space Museum, or viewed online, you will see
the capsules used during the early Mercury, Gemini and Apollo programs.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">These are quite constraining and would have any
claustrophobic running for the Ativan just by taking a peek inside.</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br /></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My wife would have been an ideal candidate for an
astronaut.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> Not only can she sit in the
confines of a train seat surrounded by numerous bags (2 carry on limit, she
smuggled in another 8 or 9), she can actually sit at a 90 degree angle and
somehow stretch her arms to reach the floor and under the seat in front of her
(like some kind of DC Comics Radioactive freakazoid heroine) to retrieve a PB
and J sandwich stored in her lunchbox.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I can just imagine the other astronauts asking her “could
you pass the TANG please”?</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Overall it was a great trip, and look forward to going
again.</span></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-17786285790859606892014-03-30T14:45:00.002-04:002015-10-18T05:16:35.950-04:00Can't slay this dragon<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Growing up in a
very Catholic neighborhood large families were a reality.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We had six kids but
I had relatives and friends with many more, the maximum that I was aware was
14, and not the blended “Brady-bunch” kind, all flesh and blood.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It is possible that
one explanation was the infamous “rhythm-method” where periodic abstinence was
touted as the alternative to carnal desires and artificial birth control
methods were considered evil. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Forbidden fruit has been the downfall of mankind
since day one. The bishops should have known better, or possibly there was a
“Master Plan”, keep it on the down low so the laity will keep filling the pews
and the clergy will always have jobs!</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We had decided to
settle on a smaller brood, (2 max) but looking back this was a big mistake.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If I could
commandeer a way-back machine, and start afresh, I would certainly make every
effort to convince the Mrs. of the benefits of a large family. I would wish to
hold a record so large it bumps the 5:15 pm dog story on local television news
each evening.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I know there still
exist 1960’s hippie types who will lecture me about over-population, the
survival of the planet and then start finger wagging at my own selfishness.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I will admit there
is a very personal reason for my desire, but I truly believe a larger family is
crucial to survival, mine!</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">All men in a
committed for life relationship should properly plan that he move-on beyond
this earthly existence at just the right moment, namely when you finally place
the belongings of the last of the brood on the front lawn with a “see ya around
sometime” note attached. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When the last of the loin-produced leave, plan to be at least 90 years old
or more. Make that family really big! </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And you wonder why
I say this?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The dream of the
empty nest and the joy of discovering each other anew again are certainly not
based in any reality. </span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What occurs when that final little bird sprouts wings and
moves on is an almost immediate discovery that when something happens around
the house a dragoness awakens, breathing fire, wagging her spiky tail and ready
to pounce on the one who did something wrong.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Without a kid
around to blame, that would be me!</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3EHZfjHNOvuf3wIOwoMuPPfcGZMRz_jCGOzuZ3Uo1rFi0jDDIoKeE6dx5VB_ewgS2TVaLtwpDCMX4RI-7iELbntbuTOKTTkKTLQLt98yUw3Fr0Ok_GhvgnPlz0U1fwdKNChu5XIyhvlex/s1600/Sleeping_Dragon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Not only do you
have to start denying everything (“I didn’t break it, it was probably an
earthquake”) you also get hourly life-lessons, those little moments (usually
when you’re napping), where the dragoness has a show-and-tell explaining the
correct way to load a dishwasher, close a zip lock bag, or demonstrate how to
properly fold everything.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Without kid
distractions, and having too many available moments for thought, honey-do lists
grow to epic proportions. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">They usually
pertain to repairs that require a real contractor (and big $) and not you and
your little Phillips-head screwdriver and a how-to video on youtube.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You cannot even
think about retreating to the safety of a man-cave. If you had no privacy with
a house full of teens, constant hands outstretched awaiting car keys and cash,
you have no hope hiding from an angry dragoness.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My suggestion is
try bringing home a puppy.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You can relax on the
lay-z-boy, point to the hound and claim, “it wasn’t me who ate those cookies”
it was the pooch!</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Just be certain you
wiped off your mouth first.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><em><strong><span style="color: red;">P.S. No dragoness was injured during the making of this blog.</span> </strong></em> </span></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-33219723430222078632014-03-16T12:53:00.002-04:002015-10-18T05:17:01.610-04:00Patapalooza<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When I was ten years old I formed a harmonica club with two
other neighborhood kids, Manny "the Deli" Feinstein and Willie “no-fangs” Fong. Growing up in a predominantly Irish-Italian
neighborhood there was a Pizzeria and Hoagie/Steak shop on just about every
corner, run (of course) by Italians. If
you wanted great food you frequented them and would never want to rely on good
old Irish cuisine (ever try a corned beef and cabbage on soda bread?).</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Manny, on the other hand, introduced another touch of world
delight, the Kosher Hoagie.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">On Saturday mornings, when the club would meet, he brought
along a Kosher delight for himself and took pre-orders for others that he sold
for a quarter each. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Thus the handle "the Deli". </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">He convinced his mother that he really needed all this food
as he was famished by the time practice ended.
His mother, not suspecting a ruse, was more than happy to make a few
extra but eventually she took Manny to the doctor worried that he had a
digestive tape worm because he claimed starvation, had been overindulging on
Kosher Hoagies, but never gained any weight.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Eventually he had to fess up, and the supply ended much to
the joy of the Italians.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Manny and I were on the same level as harp players, we
conquered “Hot Cross Buns” and were now ready to tackle something a little more
challenging.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Willie “no-fangs” Fong was a really fun kid to have hanging
around. He lost his two front teeth in
normal fashion, but they never seemed to grow back. He loved the harmonica, and played with all the heart of his
idol, Little Stevie Wonder. He had only two roadblocks to becoming an
outstanding performer, he was totally tone-deaf and he never understood that
each hole in the instrument had a blow and draw note. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Willie only knew how to blow, and blow he did. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We liked him a lot so he hung with us and we somehow worked
around his dysfunction.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">After a few months of meetings we were invited to play
before an actual audience. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The local youth club was having a talent show and asked if
we would perform a song. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">At our next meeting we agreed to play “Moon River” a
current top 40 hit by Andy Williams. Although still at the elementary level, we
were confident, that with just a little practice, we would be able to tackle this because we already progressed through
“Row-Row-Row Your Boat” and “Three Blind Mice”</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">and we would not have to bend any notes
like a real blues player. </span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Moon River” seemed like a safe bet.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The result was 3 kids with lots of heart who needed much
more practice. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Somehow Willie Fong
sounded better than his two semi-pro partners.
It was a very funny performance, or so the audience believed. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Willie
Fong was so delighted that he couldn’t stop bowing.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I bring up this story, as it was my 1<sup>st</sup> real
experience performing before a live audience.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Three years’ prior I was to play a part in a school play and
I bolted right before the 1<sup>st</sup> act.
No I did not get cold feet!
Sister Cecilia B. DeMille insisted I have makeup applied before going on
stage. I refused and returned to a seat
next to my parents. My mother was
horrified that I quit but when I told my father of my rebellion, he smiled,
knowingly, and I gained a powerful ally. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I wasn’t gonna be a second-grade sissy wearing lipstick. I
would have had to spend the next month fighting my way through the
neighborhood.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now we finally get to St. Patrick’s Day.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As I mentioned, our neighborhood was predominantly mixed, if
you consider almost exclusively Irish and Italian Catholic residents a total composite of
American life.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The wealthy Italians (the Pizzeria owners) had their own
elementary school, St. Joseph Pesci, just up the block from our school. St.
Attica’s.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">At St. A’s March 17<sup>th</sup> was almost a holy day of
obligation (the “Pesci’s had Columbus Day).</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I never really shared all the enthusiasm as some of my
school friends as I was a half breed, ½ Irish (Mom) and ½ German (Dad) with a
little Lenape Indian thrown in.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My school chums were mostly 1<sup>st</sup> and second
generation Irish-Americans. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My
ancestors arrived in the early wave of the potato famines and settled in the
Pennsylvania coal towns of Schuylkill County. My elders never spoke of the "old country". Their memories were of 6 year old mine workers and the Molly Maguire's. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I was so clueless about my heritage I couldn’t understand
why people emigrated because they had no Irish potatoes, after all, man does
not live by coconut, sugar and cinnamon alone.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">By now I enjoyed singing, having been enlisted into the
all-boy parish choir. A few of my choir
friends asked that I join them in forming a quartet to perform Irish songs at
the “Patapalooza” talent show, the grand finale of the day’s activities.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">They needed me because they were still boy-soprano’s and my
puberty arrived earlier leaving me to become a squeaky alto. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Until testosterone eventually fine-tuned my vocals I was now
the Willie Fong of the St. A’s “Patapalooza Extravaganza”.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The parish took Patapalooza practice with all the
seriousness of a Russian Olympic Ice Hockey team. We even had a former professional voice coach brought in, Sister Rose
Kathleen Sinead Seamus Shannon O’ Malley, directly from County Cork.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Sister O worked us like dogs. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We got to skip classes prior to the show to
practice-practice-practice. We had a repertoire of about 6 songs and even today
I can sing each from memory as the themes were all identical; mother,
homeland and death.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The show went as expected, every act was a hit, the audience
(filled with Guinness and Irish Potatoes) enthusiastically applauded and I was
certain to take a bow like Willie Fong.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Afterwards the family went to Gadaletta’s for Pizza.</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Irish say that on March 17<sup>th</sup>, everyone is
Irish so wear something green, enjoy the day, sing “Danny Boy” and be sure to
take a bow like Willie Fong.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Then order a pizza.</span></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-17563793758146098592014-03-13T17:42:00.000-04:002015-10-18T05:17:22.396-04:00Watch out Drones!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">James Thurber, in his 1933 classic “My Life and Hard Times”
speaks of his Grandmother’s horrible suspicion that electricity was dripping
invisibly all over the house. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As Mr. Thurber explains: "It leaked, she contended, out of the empty
sockets if the wall switch had been left on. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">She would go around screwing in
bulbs, and if they lighted up she would hastily and fearfully turn off the wall
switch and go back to her reading. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Happy in the satisfaction that she had
stopped not only a costly but a dangerous leakage".</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Fast forward to 2014 when the Mrs. Jay Gerard is in constant
apprehension of internet “Peeping Toms” and spends an inordinate amount of shoe
leather running a muck fastening index cards to any technology containing an
available camera. She also believes Windows 8 allows the microphone in her
laptop to listen-in on all her conversations, even when shut down and stored 3
stories up. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As I write she has blackened all household window panes and
is using a screw gun to secure particle board as additional cover-up to prevent
predator drones from gaining ground </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">. She has littered the house with aluminum-foil hats too!</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I haven’t the heart to tell her Spookya Radio recently had a
discussion regarding hidden spy cameras in flat screen televisions. If I do I can expect walls covered with 30
gallon trash bags.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I am just not as frightened as others when it comes to
thinking that there may be forces out there who wish to use today's technology to catalog my daily
routine for future manipulations.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">First, I am somewhat flattered as I could never imagine that
my boring life could be of interest to anyone. Heck I don’t even want to think
about it and I gotta live in it.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Second, I am way too lazy to spend time taking all these
precautions. If it’s money they seek, good luck, if it’s photos, again good
luck.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My wife and kids called me “Mr. Gadget” as my love for
technology, especially what may be on the horizon, has always been an interest.
This is why Batman has always been my geek super hero of choice.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Jack Nicholson’s “Joker” in the movie jealously lamented
“Where does he get all those toys”?</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As much as I do like toys, I always resisted upgrading to a
smart phone. </span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Phone conversations are
not my preferred method of communication. Face-to-face, then Skype are surely
better. I do like texting as I can keep phone conversations to a minimum and
found this to be a preferred method of communication by many people today.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Well this week I was issued a new company phone by my
newspaper, a Samsung Galaxy 4 and I am not only elated, I am totally sold.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My new toys of choice are the apps, I can’t seem to get
enough. It is as if I can now discard a whole table full of technology and
carry my life everywhere in one convenient little rectangle. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And I don’t have
to be a twelve-year-old girl to read the display or work the keyboard. It is adult-friendly!</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I am now Batman in my own home. I was awaiting my wife to
play the part of the Joker and jealously lament “where does he get all those
toys”?</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Instead I found it today on a table, index cards fastened
securely and wrapped in aluminum foil.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
Watch out drones...she knows you're out there and she's coming after you next!</span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-89680944602818991322014-03-04T10:44:00.003-05:002015-10-18T05:17:55.230-04:00Bill's #1<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Bill Gates is number one again!</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I just heard the headline of the day that Bill just
regained his title as the richest man in America. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Seventy-six billion and not only the richest but
also along with his spouse, Melinda, are quite the philanthropists.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Here is the official "real wealth" pecking order:</span></span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">1. God</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">2. The Pope</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">3. Dysfunctional British
Royalty</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">4. The owner of Dubai</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">5. Bill Gates</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">6. Some other rich guys</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">7. Oprah</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">8. Gay Guys</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">9. Everyone else on the
planet</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">10. Me</span></span></div>
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">When I heard the news today that Bill Gates
regained his title I was passing by a Dunkin Donuts, one of the few businesses
that causes me to irk when I see their “tip jar “for the service provided;
wrangling a jelly donut, placing it in a bag and handing the contents to me
expecting favor.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Look I am all for the “little-guy”, my heart goes
out for those who take lower wages but <a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a>provide excellent
service in order to come close to a possible “living wage”. I tend to over-tip
for real service and I wonder just what those in the pecking order would leave
in a Dunkin Donuts tip jar for a jelly donut.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>God</b>-eternal
life (not too shabby) and a Mc Donald’s French fry coupon.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>The Pope</b>-The
new guy, Frankie, seems to favor the common folk so I would suspect he would
leave a shiny quarter. He doesn’t have the same power as his boss, no eternal
life, but he could give you a little blessing or a hearty handshake.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Dysfunctional
British Royalty</b>-Tip for what? We thought jelly donuts just
appeared from the air.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>The owner of Dubai</b>-watch
closely as he may have his hand in the jar.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Bill Gates</b>-well
he has a philanthropic streak. He would probably be very generous. I hear that he has been known to leave
thousands for a hamburger, pizza delivery and paperboys and millions for
bloggers who suck up and speak very kindly of him
(<a href="http://jaygerardtoday.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">jaygerardtoday.blogspot.com</a>).</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Some other rich
guys</b>-Nothing. “How do you think we got so rich”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Oprah</b>-Give
the entire store-staff a car and trip to Disney world.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Gay Guys</b>-I
am not certain they ever eat jelly donuts.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Everyone else on
the planet</b>-look away and pretend the jar does not exist.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="ListParagraph" style="margin-left: 0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Me</b>-I
would be removing any pennies to make exact change.</span></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7950500565554172479.post-59262158871300612152014-02-28T20:24:00.001-05:002015-10-18T05:18:14.259-04:00Blow America<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I promise you, dear readers, that eventually I will refrain
from talking about this year’s Pennsylvania winter, but again it is truly the major
topic of conversation.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We are about 48 hours away from another massive storm now
brewing in the Pacific and it is racing eastward ho across America about to dump
another estimated 12 inches plus on our head.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Local municipalities have exhausted road-salt supplies. Home
Depot has begun digging a moat around the garden center to keep at bay the
crowds of customers vying for the last few available bags on a pallet. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Trusting that prayers to the Patron Saint
of Hopeless Causes may provide relief, a local order of Nuns began selling St. Jude metals.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My daughter and son-in-law feel so bad we are dealing with
all this they have generously offered to fly in and support an army of snow
shoveler’s from Costa Rica and have then set up a tent city in our backyard for
the duration of the season.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I was hoping for an in-law suite in North Carolina but
they’re too smart for me.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Our Media Publishing Company had a contest for their
employees. I entered in the hope of winning the grand prize; Circus tickets for
my local grandgirls.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The contest was to describe your most favorite winter
memories and what snow activities you found appealing.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There was the usual gag-provoking and nauseating cast of
characters:</span></span></div>
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</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“I just love taking my family on a long walk wearing our
snow-shoes”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“I enjoy building igloos for all the neighborhood orphans”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“We all go sledding from sun-up to sunset on dead man’s hill
then cozy up in front of our fireplace with hot cocoa”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And on and on it went.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There must have been dozens and dozens of entries just like
that.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yours truly, the “contrarian”, submitted the following:</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My favorite winter memory knows that spring and summer is
just around the corner. What I enjoy
most after a snowfall is to sit back in my laz-y-boy with a nice cup of coffee
and watch the bright sun melt all of that horrid white stuff.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The contest ended but unfortunately the Circus tickets were
no longer available and the grand prize was 4 Harlem Globetrotter tickets.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I will be going in March.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I do believe that just cursing the darkness is pointless, I
always find a candle to light.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I have a possible solution to ward off the impending doom
now marching eastward from the left coast.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If EVERYONE in America, and I truly mean us all will go outside on March 1<sup>st</sup> at noon (Eastern time), take a real deep breath
and blow really hard towards California maybe we can somehow push back the
storm.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We will be as one, united
against the elements.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Like “Hands across America” from 1986.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We can call it “America Blows 2014”.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We may even request help from our allies in Europe, a kind
of payback for WW2.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Hawaii, please stand down as your assistance would be
counter-productive.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now start huffing and puffing please.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><b>American Blowers-When you are finished moving the elements check out the Harp Players tab to see some of the greatest Harmonica players past and present. I am updating and adding great harp blowers. Click on and enjoy!</b></span></i></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0