Sunday, December 1, 2013

What Color Is Today?

Well it has been over two weeks since my last post.  I have been so busy with the holidays that time got away.
It is now the Saturday after Thanksgiving and I sit here with a major crisis to distract me. What color is today?
Yesterday was black Friday, the day before was Thanksgiving that’s kinda brown-orange-yellowish. The day before was Gray Wednesday, and the day before that was Light Gray Tuesday.  Monday was Dark-White Monday. Last Sunday was White Sunday; Saturday was Opaque Day, Friday was Clear Friday.
I have finally assigned a color name all the way back to March 17th’s”Kelly Green” St Patrick’s Day.
I have decided to launch a diabolical plan to stimulate the economy by assigning colors and names to each and every day leading up to Christmas beginning on December 26th.
Just think of it, retailers will be so confused they will have buyers camped out at their storefront each day for a 500 inch flat screen or a girls-gone-wild Barbie.
Newspapers will deliver a daily 5-pound paper, loaded with ads providing employment for the Printers union, delivery staff and the Chiropractors who treat them. Advertising sales reps could move out of their parents basements and earn a living.
Lawns will be perpetually adorned with balloon Nativity Peanuts characters and Santa Scooby-Do's.

Inventory of canned pumpkin and cranberry sauce would sell within their expiration dates, no longer found stuck in the “buy at your own risk” aisle of the dollar store.
Malls and Big Box stores would always be crowded; Manheim Steamroller tunes would dominate the airways, “It’s a Wonderful Life” the only movie permitted to watch.
A marvelous plan if only everyone had a job to pay for all of this.
It’s Thanksgiving week, be thankful if you do have a job.
Please remember to help those who don’t.

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