Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Bill's #1

Bill Gates is number one again!

I just heard the headline of the day that Bill just regained his title as the richest man in America.

Seventy-six billion and not only the richest but also along with his spouse, Melinda, are quite the philanthropists.

Here is the official "real wealth" pecking order:

1. God

2. The Pope

3. Dysfunctional British Royalty

4. The owner of Dubai

5. Bill Gates

6. Some other rich guys

7. Oprah

8. Gay Guys

9. Everyone else on the planet

10. Me

When I heard the news today that Bill Gates regained his title I was passing by a Dunkin Donuts, one of the few businesses that causes me to irk when I see their “tip jar “for the service provided; wrangling a jelly donut, placing it in a bag and handing the contents to me expecting favor.

Look I am all for the “little-guy”, my heart goes out for those who take lower wages but provide excellent service in order to come close to a possible “living wage”. I tend to over-tip for real service and I wonder just what those in the pecking order would leave in a Dunkin Donuts tip jar for a jelly donut.

God-eternal life (not too shabby) and a Mc Donald’s French fry coupon.

The Pope-The new guy, Frankie, seems to favor the common folk so I would suspect he would leave a shiny quarter. He doesn’t have the same power as his boss, no eternal life, but he could give you a little blessing or a hearty handshake.

Dysfunctional British Royalty-Tip for what? We thought jelly donuts just appeared from the air.

The owner of Dubai-watch closely as he may have his hand in the jar.

Bill Gates-well he has a philanthropic streak. He would probably be very generous.  I hear that he has been known to leave thousands for a hamburger, pizza delivery and paperboys and millions for bloggers who suck up and speak very kindly of him (

Some other rich guys-Nothing. “How do you think we got so rich”

Oprah-Give the entire store-staff a car and trip to Disney world.

Gay Guys-I am not certain they ever eat jelly donuts.

Everyone else on the planet-look away and pretend the jar does not exist.

Me-I would be removing any pennies to make exact change.