Saturday, October 12, 2013

Nerf Recess


This is the current, up to the second world population when I began the blog you are reading.  The count is live and actively updating as I write.

My humor is usually self-effacing.  I often find this type of humor preferable over lampooning the foibles of others. 
The following is a code of humor that I strive to strictly follow:

·        I am a moron and deserve to expose my idiocy to the world.

·        There are 7,185,258,719 others on the planet who are just as dumb.

·        If anyone does not realize they are equally as goofy, especially those in authority, or members of the Royal class, it will become my duty to inform them.

I normally do not like to comment on political correctness gone amok, especially while the latest blurb is the hot news item of the moment, but the nanny state police at the Weber Middle School in Port Washington, Long Island New York truly deserve an award for the most dumb*** decision of the year, possibly beating out any made by the King of Nonsensical, the nanny of New York City, the almost ex-mayor Bloomberg. That is a feat very hard to topple but they may have accomplished the task.

For those among us who do not follow the CNN news of the nano-second, the aforementioned school administration has decided to ban all but Nerf balls from the campus recess.

The web was all goosebumpy about the news. Political pundits could not lampoon the school administration enough.  Parents of little children panicked wondering if this ban may cause a tsunami of new rules causing their little ones to become less active and more obese.

Lets face it; having a catch with a Nerf ball necessitates standing 4 inches apart.  For crying out loud you can just hand the thing to one another.  How fun is that?

People were calling the radio stations, Tweeting, Blogging, and E-mailing Congress.

Well gang, it appears the ban is only temporary.  There is construction underway at the campus and there are safety and damage concerns.  The ban will be lifted when construction is completed.
But what about the children, what will they do?

We are talking middle school age kids here, 12 to 14 year olds, the “age of know-it-all brilliance” for youth and Purgatory for teachers until they can get a better assignment or win a lottery and escape the torture.

I was once a middle school kid at St. Attica’s, and so were my friends.  I still recall those glory days and our own bad behavior.

Sorry Weber Middle School in Port Washington, Long Island New York. You did not qualify to overtake the mayor of New York for the most dumb*** decision of the year. 
Old Bloomy reigns supreme.

And your building is secure, for now.

While I blogged 11,437 new morons joined the planet.

Welcome aboard!

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Hamburgers for Cyborgs

Batman, the Caped Crusader, the Dark Knight, yes I am a fan!

The fascination began in early childhood.  Friends read Superman, Daredevil, Spider-man but not me, I was always loyal to the Bat.

It was not just that Bruce Wayne was a disturbed wealthy vigilante fighting crime without any real superpowers; it was all those gadgets and machines he owned. These really reach deep into the psyche of all guys.  We love toys and never grow out of it.  Women don’t always understand this, but it is really true. Sorry ladies, you will need to love us in spite of this flaw. We will always be just older versions of our younger selves.

Our adult playthings may develop into tools, cars, airplanes and various collections or hobbies.

When I was a kid I recall going bowling with my father and as we were leaving he gave me money to make my own dinosaur in a machine called a Mold-A-Rama. For a small fee I could select and produce a chosen creature and watch as it was being created in an injection molding vending machine. (See link)

A few years’ ago I watched a video about an upcoming technology, the 3D Printer. I am hooked but it is out of my financial reach.  Just today, while awaiting an eye appointment, I was interested in a Readers Digest article about the possible future applications of 3D printing. Yes making plastic parts and toys made sense, clothing and medical limbs were a little unusual, but creating food seemed too futuristic.  Printed edibles may make sense on the day we become cyborgs.

In the early days of the cell phone, I had a sister who made a call from my driveway announcing her arrival.  The technology was the size of a human thighbone with a battery pack as big as a steamer trunk.  The 15-second phone call probably cost about 11 bucks but it was new and attention getting.

I can only imagine that the current price of a 3D burger would run around $400.

I’ll wait till I am a cyborg.

Here is a video on 3D technology.  Go max out a credit card.