Friday, February 28, 2014

Blow America

I promise you, dear readers, that eventually I will refrain from talking about this year’s Pennsylvania winter, but again it is truly the major topic of conversation.

We are about 48 hours away from another massive storm now brewing in the Pacific and it is racing eastward ho across America about to dump another estimated 12 inches plus on our head.

Local municipalities have exhausted road-salt supplies. Home Depot has begun digging a moat around the garden center to keep at bay the crowds of customers vying for the last few available bags on a pallet.

Trusting that prayers to the Patron Saint of Hopeless Causes may provide relief, a local order of Nuns began selling St. Jude metals.

My daughter and son-in-law feel so bad we are dealing with all this they have generously offered to fly in and support an army of snow shoveler’s from Costa Rica and have then set up a tent city in our backyard for the duration of the season.

I was hoping for an in-law suite in North Carolina but they’re too smart for me.

Our Media Publishing Company had a contest for their employees. I entered in the hope of winning the grand prize; Circus tickets for my local grandgirls.

The contest was to describe your most favorite winter memories and what snow activities you found appealing.

There was the usual gag-provoking and nauseating cast of characters:

“I just love taking my family on a long walk wearing our snow-shoes”

“I enjoy building igloos for all the neighborhood orphans”

“We all go sledding from sun-up to sunset on dead man’s hill then cozy up in front of our fireplace with hot cocoa”

And on and on it went.

There must have been dozens and dozens of entries just like that.

Yours truly, the “contrarian”, submitted the following:

My favorite winter memory knows that spring and summer is just around the corner.  What I enjoy most after a snowfall is to sit back in my laz-y-boy with a nice cup of coffee and watch the bright sun melt all of that horrid white stuff.

The contest ended but unfortunately the Circus tickets were no longer available and the grand prize was 4 Harlem Globetrotter tickets.

I will be going in March.

I do believe that just cursing the darkness is pointless, I always find a candle to light.

I have a possible solution to ward off the impending doom now marching eastward from the left coast.

If EVERYONE in America, and I truly mean us all will go outside on March 1st at noon (Eastern time), take a real deep breath and blow really hard towards California maybe we can somehow push back the storm.
We will be as one, united against the elements.

Like “Hands across America” from 1986.

We can call it “America Blows 2014”.

We may even request help from our allies in Europe, a kind of payback for WW2.

Hawaii, please stand down as your assistance would be counter-productive.
Now start huffing and puffing please.

American Blowers-When you are finished moving the elements check out the Harp Players tab to see some of the greatest Harmonica players past and present. I am updating and adding great harp blowers.  Click on and enjoy!