Thursday, July 25, 2013

Juan Valdez the marriage counselor

I live in an area of the country that has a convenience store chain that rivals the famous 7-11.
Actually there is no rivalry as the 7-11’s sit almost comatose as hundreds, thousands; no millions of daily caffeine-addicted zombies dutifully embark on a trek and head out to these Mecca’s for one of many offerings that will kick start their day.
Serious caffeine-heads rush to these stores. There is a never-ending supply of customer traffic.

Our area residents never work they just drink coffee.
Starbucks traffic is pitiful, just the same small handful of lame-o hipster freeloaders who just hang around for the Internet. They should pick up their free WiFi from their neighbors, like the rest of us.

I too am guilty of patronage, not because their coffee is the worlds best; it is just that we have not mastered the art at home.

This week, while grocery shopping, I came to realize that we are approaching a 40th wedding anniversary and the latest brand of coffee purchased now numbers 248.   We have tried (and failed) an average of 6.2 different brands/year, not to mention the 69 coffee makers, various filtered waters and 7 different grinders used during those periods when we believed going right to the bean would provide the ideal brew.

Our marriage has come to a impasse. Of the many things that could bring a couple to differences, who would have thought that a major concern was over a cup of joe.  We have tried caffeine counseling but our cards and emails to Juan Valdez remain unanswered (someone mentioned that he is a fictitious character but don’t believe it. I was told the same about Mr. Goodwrench).

I continue my pursuit, refusing to quit or even (gulp) switch to tea!

Sorry, tea consumption is so reminiscent of all things British, an interest foreign to me and a source of puzzlement as to why so many in this country stayed glued to their news pulses, this week, awaiting the new arrival of the future crown.  By the time little Georgie gets a shot at the top post I would have long been decomposing and onto a different journey.

My quest moves forward.  I still hope for a response from Juan Valdez but in any case  I may have found a new lead in this video.


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